Standing Up In The Face Of Rejection

how to face rejection

I sincerely thought I could deal with rejection until I got a new kind of rejection. I struggled with it and I had to seek some help and re-orient myself. After a little research, reading articles and talking to friends, I felt so much better and I decided to share what I’ve learned with you guys.

Starting a virtual assistant business has had me putting myself up for scrutiny every other day and having to face, more often than not a big fat “NO”. Right now, I dread my inbox due to the number of emails I’ve been getting. But why does rejection hurt so much? It’s because our brains are wired with the same pathways for physical pain as the emotional feeling of rejection.

The pain that lingers when we feel rejected is self-damaging and self-inflicted

How can you deal with this pain?

First, realize that it is absolutely normal and the people who rejected you or your work are the minority and do not really define and speak for the rest of the population. We are 7 billion on the planet, you still have a long way to go. Then, use the pain to your advantage. See it as a wake- up call to be better and to improve. I always say, use everything as an excuse to improve.

Everyone needs to experience pain at least once in their lifetime because it corrects the idea of perfection in your mind

Avoid taking things personally. It’s really not because they were out to get you. Try to be objective about the situation. If you were in their shoes and you had to pick 5 out of 100 people, someone has to go. If logic fails you, and you can’t possibly think of a good reason why you were rejected, then it goes to show that it is a loss on their part. This is especially true in relationships.

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Make new connections with people. Wallowing in your sadness and shame of being rejected will not help you get through the feelings you may be dealing with. Trying to establish new relationships and connections is a sure fire way to remind you that the world is huge and that there are so many new opportunities waiting to be grabbed.

Related: Time To Focus

Avoid destructive self-criticism. As much as this may be tempting to go all “Woe is me”. It won’t help the situation and it will only worsen how you feel and you may roll into depression. Failure and rejection should be handled similarly. Constructive criticism is helpful especially if you get feedback from the person who rejected you. If you focus on working hard to get what you want, you won’t have the time become self-piteous.

Related: The Gift of Failure

Rejection, especially constant rejection is a sign that you are trying to live your life to the fullest so don’t give up.

If you need a little more inspiration, I love this article: WHY YOU SHOULD AIM FOR 100 REJECTIONS IN A YEAR.

Finally, PRAY. Yes, I said it, PRAY. If you’re religious or even if you’re not. Prayer and meditation are good ways to work through any emotion whatsoever. As a Christian, prayer helps me through many things I deal with. Here are some verses that could help:

2Cor 12:9 – And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

1 Peter 5:7 -Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Psalm 118: 22 – The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.  Love this one.

At the end of the day, your self-love is all that matters and if you approve who and what you are, nobody should tell you otherwise. If you believe you’re good enough, soon enough someone else will. It may take time but the time will definitely come.

Stay Awesome.

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51 COMMENTS

  1. Aw hun, one day someone will give you a yes and it will be worth far more than any rejection you had. I have lost count of the amount of rejections that I got but the few ‘yes’s that I do good make everything worthwhile. I can take things personally too but I am also aware that we are competing in a saturated market and with hard work success will come to those who wait. x

  2. I love this. It touches on a subject that we all struggle with at some point. I like the point you make on turning it into an excuse and motivation to better yourself.

  3. These are outstanding verses that can be used for a multitude of reasons. So often, though, people forget to go to them for every day problems such as this. Rejection is something that we all deal with nearly every day in some form or fashion. Well written article!

  4. Such a great post. As a blogger, I’ve dealt with a lot of rejection and it is something I struggle with. I try not to take it personally, or let it affect me, but every once in a while I still have my days.

  5. It is TOUGH to be rejected. I’ve been rejected many times–personally and through my writing. It stings, but I try to remind myself of the times I WASN’T rejected and to just keep trying.

  6. I definitely agree to pray. I’m a Christian as well and I do my best not to take rejection personally because I know God will never reject me. I also know and believe that God will open doors in His timing so being anxious won’t get me anywhere. Love the cast your anxieties on Him verse. That’s one I have written down and read it over and over.

  7. Trying to logically make sense of rejection is so hard for me. I tend to take things personally, no matter how hard I try not to. I have to remind myself that rejection isn’t a definition of who I am, nor is it a measure of my worth. It’s easy to forget that there are other people fighting for your spot too, and only one will win. I’m learning to take a deep breathe, accept it, and move on. It’s a difficult process that is taking some time, but it will be good for me in the long run! Great post!

  8. Thank you for sharing your story and for being so true. My boyfriend is always with me especially in times that I feel down, but prayers truly helps to ease that pain. Its hard to explain, you just have to feel it.

  9. Rejection can be so hard to deal with. I have noticed as I am getting older it is a little easier to handle. I think I just do not care what other people think as much as I did when I was younger.

  10. Great article! I personally feel that the more self development we do the less we fear with Jackson because if our genuine self love is strong we do not really have that fear inside of us because we are able to overcome it after enough growth and development

  11. “Try to be objective about the situation. If you were in their shoes and you had to pick 5 out of 100 people, someone has to go.”

    So so true. Everyone cannot be accepted. It might hurt but it’s the truth. Rejection is never an easy fish to fry. It’s tough. Maybe it’s only easy for the masters but for me, it hurts always. Putting things in perspective and looking at the big picture is one of the things that keeps the hurt in check.

  12. Thanx alot for this awesome article… Dealing with rejection isn’t easy but when itz expected (aim at 100 rejections a year), it goes a long way to lift some of d burdens that comes with being rejected and creates room for growth..

  13. Getting rejected usually brings up our insecurities. I think it’s really important that we learn how to stand up and rise from it because it’s not going to be healthy when we dwell on the fact that we’re rejected.

  14. Dealing with rejection is definitely not easy, but how you handle it is what truly matters. I tend to take those feelings of self doubt and use them to fuel my fire and work even harder.

  15. It’s never an easy challenge, rejection can really hit us hard. I think it’s good to know what to do when you experience rejection.

  16. I take things personally all of the time. I wish I didn’t, but it takes me forever to “get over” something. I just think about “it” all of the time. Praying helps me too. I’m so glad you included that. 🙂

  17. This was a very good read. Rejection is very hard because it is so personal. Although every one may experience it at one time or another. It is hurtful. I love the tips you provided and will keep this for future use.

  18. I love your tips on how to face rejection! I understand how you feel about your VA business. I started blogging again a month ago and this time I am trying really hard to not let any “no” answers bring me down. When I first started blogging last year, I let it get to me. So I took a few months off and prayed A LOT and now this time I think I’m ready to get back out there!

  19. What an inspiring post! It’s true that rejection hurts – sometimes more and sometimes less but it’s important to learn from rejection and improve ourselves.

  20. This is a great post on standing up in the face of rejection. It is so true that you can’t take rejection personal because it really is self damaging as well as self inflicted. I believe it is up to you to take criticism with a grain of salt and for every 1 negative thing said thing of 6 positive things about yourself. Thanks for sharing a great post..

  21. It’s really hard to deal with rejection. It’s my biggest fear and the reason why I always go through depression. Thank you for sharing, it’s really helpful.

  22. I’m going to some kind of rejection myself wright now. I’m trying to buy a place to live and a need a credit from the bank. Because I’m a freelancer, it’s hard to get one. Thanks for sharing this, It helps.

  23. Rejection can be quite painful. I don’t know if I would be strong enough to go out of my way to actively seek out 100 rejections in a year, but you do make some good points.

  24. Rejection is tough to deal with, no matter what business you’re in. I wish I could say it gets easier as you get older, but it doesn’t. This post provides great tips on being objective and moving on. Thanks!

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