Have you ever felt like you’ve had to choose between your partner and God? If no, then brace yourself, it may or may not come up. If yes, how did it feel? I’m not a serial dater but I’ve had a few relationships with lots of lessons. Ultimately, this choice arises when you or your partner are not in great standing with God.
There are so many arguments that surround Christian dating. When should I date? Who should I date? Is this permitted? The what’s and how’s? We’re not dealing with that right now. However, with these questions come reasons to compromise. Love is a feeling that drives a person to become selfless to their partner. But how do you draw the line?
A common statement I’ve heard from watching videos and reading lots of articles is that ‘relationships are different’. However, this umbrella quote can cause issues. What do you do when your partner is asking you to do something which is ‘acceptable’ but you don’t feel comfortable with? Should you do it because they’re asking you to?
The right answer would be NO. Yet, it’s not a cookie-cutter answer. When you’re dating someone who isn’t a Christian you’ll find yourself wanting to compromise all the time. It can be a number of things ranging from the way you talk, dress, or the things you do.
I once had a real crush on a guy that thought that tight and revealing clothing was ‘sexy’. He was also a ‘Christian’. Being a modest and conservative kind of girl, I started worrying about my wardrobe. I didn’t feel like anything I owned was good enough. Worse still, I started listening for compliments. If he complimented someone, I made sure to note the kind of outfit she was wearing and I imitated it as much as I could. I was looking for approval in all the wrong places. It took God’s help to get rid of thee crush.
I read a review today of a book titled ‘The Myth of the Submissive Woman’. It basically covered myths that surround being submissive. Some women believe that they have to give up themselves to be ‘submissive’. This usually includes voicing their opinions too.
Imagine if I was dating him, I’d want to please him no matter what. The assumption is he’ll love you more if you ‘break your rules’ for him. No, he won’t. When you’re dating a Christian guy, it becomes more complicated. You may not want to sound like you’re questioning his Christianity so you tell yourself that he knows what he’s doing. He may not.
If your partner is Christian and s/he is asking you to do something clearly contrary to God’s standards, you should re-evaluate their Christianity. As Christians, we fail to realize that sometimes, people falter. They may be going against the Spirit of God speaking to them. That’s why it is important to always evaluate your decisions.
If you read the Bible, you’ll see that God used men and women alike. As judges and as prophets. These roles require courage and fearlessness especially since the news they brought were almost always bad. Male and female alike, God has called us to stand firm. compromise that clearly goes against God’s will is something to avoid. Eventually, you will resent the person for making you someone you didn’t want to be. When in reality, you chose it for yourself.
It may be hard to say, especially when you fear losing them. Just keep in mind that God will not give you to someone who will take you away from Him. If someone is stubborn and deliberately refuses to listen, know that God always has a better plan for you.