Don’t Keep Silent

There is a saying that silence is the best answer, well, for a fool. If you’re anything like me, who doesn’t like conflict, you probably do this often. It’s such a bad habit. I let people ride me, take me for granted and use me beyond reason just because I’d rather have peace than enter into a conflict. I’d rather slightly inconvenience myself than confront someone.

After I took a personality test and read the results (read more here), it felt like reading a diary someone secretly wrote about me. It physically drains me that I live in a world where I have to constantly fight for my rights all the time. Take for instance yesterday, I came out of my apartment to take a stroll to a nearby supermarket to get some groceries to make dinner. As soon as I stepped out, a group of men were just whistling and catcalling me. I ignored them and walked past, whereas my usual behaviour was to greet. Immediately I walked past them completely, a couple of them stood up and started yelling at me. I couldn’t make out the words because they had a thick accent. Anyways, I was frustrated. I hate catcalls even though I experience it almost everyday of my life. Some other girls would have shut them up especially because of the insults if I ever heard one but I didn’t.

Same thing happens in class, with friends and anywhere I find myself. I’m painfully soft, that’s why I tend to keep to myself and a small circle of friends. However, this has to stop. Now, I’m not saying you should be all out rude, calling people names or going round fighting people, verbally or physically. But if the need arises, you should stand up for yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, you should speak up. Sometimes, the person causing the discomfort may not be aware of the situation and may be more than glad to make you feel better.walk-human-trafficking-12136.jpg

As a child, I was an interesting personality mix, extroverted most of the time, bold enough to speak in public but not enough to raise controversy which showed my introverted side, and I still am.Sometimes I wonder why I’m not like others that could argue for hours and hours. Being a talkative, I was always asked to speak in debate, i always declined. I never saw the point. At the end of the day everyone went home with their opinions, just that one group was always well spoken so they won the prize. I’m working on myself and whoever is reading this and has similar experience should too. Whenever I’m in a situation where my mind says let it go and I find it really hard to but I want to d o so for peace’s sake, I know then that I should speak up. It takes practice but it works, It will happen eventually. Speak up, say how you feel. Your words might encourage another to take charge of their situation.

We need more voices to be heard. So many people are experiencing things they cannot say in the open because they feel they are the only ones going through such, so the more we speak up, the more confidence we give others. At your job, in your home, in your relationship, friendship, wherever, just speak up. Don’t die in silence. It would hurt to know that the reason you were silent was never appreciated. Open up. Find a safe space and let it out. There are many platforms to do so and if you don’t find one, create it. You have a unique mind and maybe you’re the only one thinking of that idea. Maybe, one day we’ll finally have a world that doesn’t need people to scream before their voices are heard but till then, do not keep shut.

I’ll always be a nice person, I’ll climb mountains for the people I love, and I’ll always go the extra mile for someone who needs the extra support. But I’ve decided not to let myself get hurt anymore, because it has affected me; especially mentally and emotionally. I’ve healed, and I’d like to keep it that way. To all the nice and kind people out there who can’t help it, I know the world is harsh but don’t change. Be the ray of sunshine in a snowstorm. The world needs more of us.

With Love,

Kris.

20 COMMENTS

  1. I love this post! It speaks to me, because I feel like you’re talking about me. I’ve definitely started working on not keeping silent, and although it’s hard, I’m still pushing through and trying not to go back to the silence. Best of luck to you 🙂

  2. Felt like I was reading about myself here…I’m also introverted 99% of the time, so speaking up for myself is something I’ve had to literally force myself to do over time. My own silence has been my downfall SO many times. Ugh. It’s such a great thing when we finally have the strength to do what we know we ought to be doing for our own well-being. Thanks for writing about this!

  3. This is a really beautiful and vulnerable post! Thank you for sharing. Loving ourselves enough to speak out and stand up for ourselves is so important. Keep on being fabulous!

  4. What a great post, I have learnt over time, to speak out and stand up for myself, and it is something that can be done in a calm chatty way. I would always tell someone to speak out if you are not happy with something then say you are not. It really does make for a happier life x

  5. For nearly 40 years I too stayed silent .. didn’t rock the boat .. did what was asked of me no matter what. I was always the tension smoother and suffered from the Disease to Please. A few years ago I decided to change all of that. The people who knew me thought I was upset with them when I stopped accepting invitations because I really wanted to do something else. I tried to explain .. but by that time it was so engrained in our relationships that some of them never recovered.

  6. As a kid, and even until I started freelancing as a make-up artist, I was such a shy person. The only way to get over it is to work on it a little everyday.

  7. We can’t live our lives by just keeping quiet to avoid conflict especially when you’re being affected in so many ways. I think there cases in which you would have to talk and voice out your opinion or how you feel.

  8. Yes the need to PLEASE………. Its a problem not only you have but I would guess quite a portion of the population. We all want to be accepted and liked in life that’s part of being human… but when it comes at too high a price then we need to step back and say ……no I’m not going to be trod on any more……..

  9. I see your point. I usually avoid confrontation because I am simply not an argumentative person, but I think that I am harming myself this way only. That needs to be changed.

Leave a Reply