Sunshine With A Little Hurricane

Finding calm in anger

“How is the water in your belly?”, a voice boomed over my racing thoughts.

“What?”, I replied. Jolted back into reality I realized that I had become so agitated that I was lost in thought, trying to process my anger. There it is, Anger. The reason for everything that had happened. It was a familiar scene. A talk became raised voices, well, mine alone. My hand moving in quick motion as my mouth struggled to get all the words out of my head. I was angry, again.

I’m usually a very calm person. I dislike conflict and I stay away from it. I would never let you intimidate me or someone else, but I wouldn’t go stirring up trouble either. Lately, the case has been very different. Aside the usual PMS and irritation from the many things I’ve had to deal with, my temperament has been very unstable.

I’m like a walking hurricane, waiting for a chance to erupt. But why? I had to dig deep because I was holding in a lot of stuff. I was walking around with a lot of things on the back of my mind that I didn’t want to deal with. It’s like having 50 tabs open on your browser. The RAM is full, processing is slow. Everything comes to a halt. I broke down.

Here’s what he said to me:

Imagine you can feel all your stress on your shoulders.

How much better would it be to just release that amount of energy and just let it fall off you? .

Breathe in. . .

As you pull in a deep breath, imagine your shoulders tighten and move up. . Now… breathe out. .

Feel your shoulders fall down freely, and release all the tension you have. . .

I learnt this little relaxation method to keep myself calm.

With practice everyday, It has gotten easier and easier. I just watch for the signs. When I feel anxious and I start to raise my voice. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anger issues. I’m just learning new ways to express myself even when I’m not in the best of moods.

The goal is to be able to say anything in a clean, calm voice. Kinda like that psychotic tone but cue down the psychotic. Ultimately, I’m trying to follow what God already commanded.

Phil 2:14-16 

Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may be blameless and pure…

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So I’m gonna ask you too. How do you deal with your anger? How is the water in your belly?

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